Chrisette Michele: Thanks For My Ephinany

so...im currently blogging just cause i feel like it...i have no reason to do so...theres nothing of much importance on my mind that requires me to vent...or at least, as of now there isnt.

currently listening to chrisette michele. i absolutely love her ♥ !!!
her voice is so unique and its just beautiful...its great, i love it, point blank! lol

my poor sister...she so misunderstood. her restless soul just needs a place to stay...but hey! she will be o.k.! (Chrisette Michele - Be O.K.)
as a matter of facvt, she is okay...just highly annoying at the moment. her problems will heal by God's grace. she wont be this way forever...hopefully =\

so...i was recently told the only person i should be loving is edward...
honestly, i dont think i love him yet. and its our relationship continues this way...i probably wont
idk if im ready yet for a golden love (Chrisette Michele - Golden)
i really do believe that i loved patrick...but now that i think about it...i think i just really appreciated him for setting such a great basis for my future (except for, of course, a few events)
...scratch that. i did love patrick but i dont think i was ever really in love with him. and i do love edward. but im not in love with him...not yet anyway.
i guess that depends on the future and the actions that are gonna be taken. maybe by the things he does for us or something...maybe then i'll realize my actual feeling. (Chrisette Michele - What You Do)

(at this moment i came up with my title for my blog. i realized that with each song change i had another thought pop into my head.)

so this particular song "All I Ever Think About". this is simply beautiful! i believe its my favorite by her. but as i really sit here and think...i doubt it has no relation to my life currently.
and i find it outlandish because all the songs that i choose as current favorites ALWAYS have some relation to me...guess i have to think harder than...
"And I guess I never really ever loved no one (all I ever think about is you) from the rising of the moon till the setting of the sun (it's overwhelming and im feeling so confused) im really scared lying here about to fall (cuz all I ever think about is) tryna get back yeah I wanna get back to you (cuz all I ever think about is you)"
....i dislike where im going with this...
so...im guessing that i was in love with patrick...possibly still am...
or maybe, its just that my love will continue for him til i fall for another.
but the thing is...i really dont think....sigh...this is exactly it!
but i know i wont get back with you...ive cut all hopes of that loose already. and maybe that why its so hard. cause ive realized that even if i wanna go back...hes already gone...(Chrisette Michele - All I Ever Think About...bout to be on repeat for awhile...)
hes bout to graduate (a senior). it saddens me that i dont even know where hes going...
sigh...to think im completely removing possibly one of the best things thats ever happened to me from my life...
but....smh all these buts! why cant i stop being indecisive for once and just decide on something and have complete faith in that decision?!!
because life doesnt work like that....
(at this moment i changed my title from "Chrisette Michele: Let's Relate To My Life...")
ive moved on...i know i have...i just need to stop doubting my decisions...thats it!
all doubts are gonna end soon because the final point is coming soon...

lol...how unexpected this realization was...guess i did have a need to vent. i like how my thought process is recorded and in sync with my playlist. and through it all...i'll grow better, make better decisions...
and in the end? i will still be okay [= just like my sister.... ♥