Chrisette Michele: Thanks For My Ephinany

so...im currently blogging just cause i feel like it...i have no reason to do so...theres nothing of much importance on my mind that requires me to vent...or at least, as of now there isnt.

currently listening to chrisette michele. i absolutely love her ♥ !!!
her voice is so unique and its just beautiful...its great, i love it, point blank! lol

my poor sister...she so misunderstood. her restless soul just needs a place to stay...but hey! she will be o.k.! (Chrisette Michele - Be O.K.)
as a matter of facvt, she is okay...just highly annoying at the moment. her problems will heal by God's grace. she wont be this way forever...hopefully =\

so...i was recently told the only person i should be loving is edward...
honestly, i dont think i love him yet. and its our relationship continues this way...i probably wont
idk if im ready yet for a golden love (Chrisette Michele - Golden)
i really do believe that i loved patrick...but now that i think about it...i think i just really appreciated him for setting such a great basis for my future (except for, of course, a few events)
...scratch that. i did love patrick but i dont think i was ever really in love with him. and i do love edward. but im not in love with him...not yet anyway.
i guess that depends on the future and the actions that are gonna be taken. maybe by the things he does for us or something...maybe then i'll realize my actual feeling. (Chrisette Michele - What You Do)

(at this moment i came up with my title for my blog. i realized that with each song change i had another thought pop into my head.)

so this particular song "All I Ever Think About". this is simply beautiful! i believe its my favorite by her. but as i really sit here and think...i doubt it has no relation to my life currently.
and i find it outlandish because all the songs that i choose as current favorites ALWAYS have some relation to me...guess i have to think harder than...
"And I guess I never really ever loved no one (all I ever think about is you) from the rising of the moon till the setting of the sun (it's overwhelming and im feeling so confused) im really scared lying here about to fall (cuz all I ever think about is) tryna get back yeah I wanna get back to you (cuz all I ever think about is you)"
....i dislike where im going with this...
so...im guessing that i was in love with patrick...possibly still am...
or maybe, its just that my love will continue for him til i fall for another.
but the thing is...i really dont think....sigh...this is exactly it!
but i know i wont get back with you...ive cut all hopes of that loose already. and maybe that why its so hard. cause ive realized that even if i wanna go back...hes already gone...(Chrisette Michele - All I Ever Think About...bout to be on repeat for awhile...)
hes bout to graduate (a senior). it saddens me that i dont even know where hes going...
sigh...to think im completely removing possibly one of the best things thats ever happened to me from my life...
but....smh all these buts! why cant i stop being indecisive for once and just decide on something and have complete faith in that decision?!!
because life doesnt work like that....
(at this moment i changed my title from "Chrisette Michele: Let's Relate To My Life...")
ive moved on...i know i have...i just need to stop doubting my decisions...thats it!
all doubts are gonna end soon because the final point is coming soon...

lol...how unexpected this realization was...guess i did have a need to vent. i like how my thought process is recorded and in sync with my playlist. and through it all...i'll grow better, make better decisions...
and in the end? i will still be okay [= just like my sister.... ♥

Point of View: A Poem

originally written May 6, 2010

It surprising....
The unpredictable sequence of events
Events...that seem to have nothing to do with each other
How they are linked together to give us new emotions
To give us clarification...
Understanding...
Hope...

A tragedy...
And now, we have come together.
United, we are standing.
Offering comfort...words of encouragement
Helping with our emotional journey of realization

Now take another look...
This horrible happening has brought something greater!
Observe, as we reach out to ones
We never would have before.
Behold, this miracle of a greater future
Happening before our very own eyes.
We are bringing out the best of others.

Sorrow may fill our hearts now...
And nothing else is presumed.
But if you look from another's point of view
You'll see the wonders materializing.
The brightness of our future is blinding!

Small steps...ineffective they seem now.
But watch!
These small steps will become leaps...
Gallops...
Sprints!

And as we watch the world
From a different point of view,
We realize that yes...you're gone.
But life will go on...
Your life will be celebrated
By those who love you.

Our tears will eventually fade
The sadness will change to appreciation.
Answers left unanswered will lose importance.
And the great omission in life that is solitude
Will cover us all and leave us whole again.

It all depends on how you look at it...
It all depends on your point of view.

R.I.P. Branden. I love you and you will be missed...

Last Day For My Seniors

The end of the line....they're all leaving me ) =
But honestly, I doing much better than expected...no tears as of yet.
But bestfriend, Jonte...my secret lover, Deron...my poetic protege, Tiandra...my wise Grandmother Willow, Gayla...just to name a few....
But I mean...they have to move on...its there time now to leave behind high school and all those in it and go on to college to continue the circle of life. My time will come later...
Life goes on...but school will really be boring now without them.
But HEY! On a brighter note, Imma be a junior next year!!!! [= LOL
No more HSAs...more challenging courses....new beginnings? BRING IT!
I realize that I really don't feel any sorrow...just appreciation for there impact on my life.
I wish them all the best in life and I know that if our friendships were meant to last then we'll see eachother again later in life.
Some friends come for a reason...others for just a season...
And on that note, I bid you all adieu...and good luck [ ' =